So a guy in my group was offered a chance to go to Antarctica. A complication: he's getting married this month and his wife is moving to Providence to start their new life together (they've been doing the long-distance thing for a year while she finishes college). She doesn't want to move to a brand new town where she doesn't know anyone and find a new job if at the end of October he's just going to up and go to Antarctica for 2-3 months. In fact, she went so far as to say that if he went to Antarctica, she might not be there when he got back.

Before I add my opinion on this matter, what do you guys think?

Hrm... This is a tough question. She had a very good point: the reason that she is marrying him is because she wants to spend the rest of her life with him, if he's not going to be around, then what is this relationship really? On the other hand, maybe he could find someone would is better able to fit in his future lifestyle. The second, however, would require him to marry somone in his field which is possible, but still leads me to say that he should probably sit this adventure out. So what /do/ you think?
» jinyu on 2009-06-09 08:16:31

It sounds like there is a space for Zanzi to go to Antarctica! ;-)

But in all seriousness, I'd bite the bullet and let him go-- it's the chance of a lifetime and if she loves him enough to marry him, she won't want him to miss out. Having said that, I'd probably stay in my old town until he gets back from Antarctica.
» Rachel (98.245.155.196) on 2009-06-09 09:17:03

He might want to sit this one out and wait until the relationship is at a more stable point. It seems like her threat is going a bit far, but honestly? I'd be upset, too!
If she could put off moving until he gets back, the would be so ideal.
» Unicornasaurus on 2009-06-09 10:57:13

I think that since they've been doing long distance for a year, what will another 2-3 months mean? But I do understand where she is coming from because being newlyweds, young and just out from university, she would want someone to be there for her when things just don't go her way. Tho, I will talk to him and if he really wants to go and that trip means a lot to him and his future, I will let him go cause sometimes distance brings people closer together.
» Nuttz on 2009-06-10 01:44:22

If she doesn't want to wait for him is the relationship really going to work out in the long run? I mean if he waited for her while she finished college, she should be able to do the same for him if he goes to Antarctica...

In the end though, it's not my decision...
» randomjunk on 2009-06-10 02:40:46

re: thanks for loving my Jesus adventures. :D I couldn't leave out Tetris, it's just so fun.

And about this situation this man is having. I'm not quite sure what to think of it. I don't think his wife should have to pick up everything and leave behind everything she's built for herself, but she should be respectful towards her husband's decisions and allow him to go. It's not like he's going to be there for the rest of his life, though 2-3 months can sometimes feel like a lifetime. I'm sure they'd be able to still talk to each other if he went there without her. If he waited a year, she can wait a few months if she truly did love him.
» zachstabbedme on 2009-06-12 02:56:52

Wow. Well, if she's planning to spend the rest of her life with him anyway, what's a few months? Sure, the timing sucks, but it's not like he's staying there forever. Having grown up in a military family, I know it sucks to have someone you love have to be gone for extended amounts of time... but that's just the way life is. She needs to get over it. This is a good opportunity for him, and it probably won't come by again. When he gets back, they can pick up where they left off.

Also, hehe, thanks! Yeah, language major = oodles of lang classes. I'm hoping to add Latin or Arabic to my arsenal next semester!
» rabekriegerin on 2009-06-12 04:14:12

I'd be pissed in her position, but.
Honestly, I'd be wary to marry someone who would threaten to leave for anything so relatively trivial.
» middaymoon on 2009-06-15 10:48:43

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