Srog the Dane is leaving today to go back to Denmark. We will all miss her terribly- especially the way that she reacts when she sees stretch Hummer limos, and the way she hates baseball, and the way she laughs uproariously while listening to Danish radio in the lab on her headphones. To give her a proper send-off, I spent yesterday making her a couple of mix CDs. One of them is a country music CD, since she had no idea and cannot fathom why Americans listen to so much country music, as none of this music goes beyond our borders. The important thing about country music is that the song sings your own life back to you, so I chose songs that might do that.

Srog the Dane is in a tough spot, as her boyfriend of 3.5 years broke up with her while she was in America. On facebook. For no reason. Now she has a ticket to Australia to visit him which is most likely non-refundable and a dilemma.

I've had friends in this dilemma before. Plane ticket to exotic location X to spend time with boyfriend or girlfriend. Jerkwad significant other (jwso) dumps kind, caring, unsuspecting friend a very short time before the trip. Unsuspecting friend only occasionally realizes that they've been dumped so that their jwso can date someone they've had their eye on in exotic location X. That's what exotic location X is all about. Unsuspecting friend is confused because jwso is acting really nice and still really excited about his/her visit. Unsuspecting friend doesn't realize that it's because jwso wants to have a wild fling with exotic foreign sexpot but also wants to get back together with unsuspecting friend afterwards because they had a really good thing together and they don't want to give it up. This phenomenon is called "Trying to have it both ways."

If jwso is charming enough, and unsuspecting friend is blinded enough by love, or lacks friends to tell him or her that jwso is a moronic selfish jerkwad, then it just might work. Amazingly, while unsuspecting friend may be intelligent and presceptive with an amazing emotional IQ, they will almost never be able to recognize their own situation for what it is.

Invariably, unsuspecting friend goes to exotic location X and it ends up a) disasterously b) awkwardly c) that they get back together as if nothing happened, but it did happen, so it will never be the same, and someday unsuspecting friend will find out about exotic foreign sexpot and THEN it will be disasterous.
Unsuspecting friend can't help but go to exotic location X because it's a trip-of-a-life-time, they don't want to waste the large sum of money they paid for the ticket, etc, but mostly because they can't let the relationship end without a large amount of drama (aka "figuring out what he/she is thinking because it doesn't make any sense and is confusing"). Actually it isn't confusing, it is very clear, but I still don't blame them one bit.

THE SOLUTION: Don't cancel your trip to exotic place X. It truly is a chance in a lifetime. Plus, you don't want to associate exotic place X with feeling terrible-- then you'll never go there. Go! BUT DON'T VISIT YOUR GDJWSO!!! If you can, get someone else to come with you. If you can't, just bum around the place! Problem is, some people don't do any traveling at all but decide that they can do it this once because jwso will be there to show them around. Plus, they didn't factor in the cost of staying someplace, because they were going to stay with jwso. This is why you must have at least two friends in every country in the world.

THE REAL SOLUTION:
If you are an s.o. in an exotic place, the proper thing to do is to break up with my unsuspecting friend before you leave or wait until you get back. If you must break up with my unsuspecting friend, do it because you never ever want to get back together with them again. If you are an unsuspecting friend, make sure to realize that if Japan or Australia is involved in any way, your relationship is probably over. By the way, this doesn't give you a license to romance a better-than-nothing domestic sexpot, either.

Gee. I wonder who you're talking about.

Haha, I just realized that my statement above makes it sound like it was ME, which is wasn't. Because that would require having enough money to buy an expensive plane ticket to an exotic locale. Oh, and having a significant other of some sort.
» ranor on 2008-05-18 11:16:08

Ugh.
JWSOs are so inconsiderate.
» middaymoon on 2008-05-18 11:50:12

... I guess that is one benefit of not dating.
» jinyu on 2008-05-19 12:04:28

I JUST read that comment
on my really long post with the program details...I say:

"Thanks! :D"

Though I have to point out that it's not THAT impressive. I only get good through practice...I can't figure out any of the new stuff.
» middaymoon on 2008-05-19 10:28:02

Too many acronyms..

You know.. Rhode Island is kind of an exotic place. Want to send me a ticket?

Vee is a girl I went out with a few times and started to grow close to.. til I realized she had stalker qualities.
» Dilated on 2008-05-20 03:26:47

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