My roommate is gone for a little more than a week. During this time, I intend to train her cats. Accomplishing this task will require all of my cunning.

The first day of training went thusly:

I have been trying to train the cats to keep out of my room, aka, "Cat-Free Space". Making the room verboten has succeeded in imbuing it with an air of desirability enough to drive them mad to get inside. They have been clawing at the door during the night. The door is ill-fitting, so it must be firmly closed or they can push it open. This morning I waited patiently for them to claw at the door. At exactly the right moment I slammed my hand against the other side of the door. I could hear them skittering down the hall in terror.

Zanzibar: 1, Cats: 0

After shutting them out of the bathroom, I took a cold shower (as our hot water still isn't on). To teach them an important lesson about walking in the bathtub, I filled the tub up with about an inch of water. I also laid patches of water around the sink. My trap set, I opened the door to the bathroom. The cat sat there. It meekly looked up at me, asking permission to enter the bathroom. It submissively sunk to the ground and rolled over. Ha-ha! At last, the respect I required! I felt a rush of love for the cat, and I petted it indulgently and allowed it into the bathroom.

Zanzibar: 2, Cats: 0

Then I saw my door. Ajar. Inside- cat prints on my fragile fossil. Cat prints on the second shelf around my fragile clock. Then the ultimate insult: dirty little cat prints and cat hair on the BED.

Zanzibar: 1, Cats: 1

Obsequious manipulators!

When I arrived home the bathtub was mysteriously empty of water, the water had evaporated from the sinktop, and there were cat prints in the bathtub. I got out the Fantastic.

Zanzibar: 1, Cats: 2

THIS IS NOT OVER. Their owners, (Thalweg and G) may love them too much to discipline them, but they underestimate me... I don't love them. The only love I have for them is tough love. I will shape them into respectable cats.

Stay tuned for round 2....

I've got a portable grill if you're down for some orange "chicken"
» Dilated on 2007-08-21 10:07:52

PS
I hope it's Siamese flavor.
» Dilated on 2007-08-21 10:08:06

Hahaha (Entry + TWP's comment)

This is like a reality TV show. :P
» randomjunk on 2007-08-21 10:40:38

Cats are aloof, they answer to no one except for the lonely old ladies who keep them.

But if you're desperate, put them into catnip induced sleep, then procede with hypnosis. When they awaken, their vicious tendencies will be curbed. It's fool proof, unless one of them knows how to read minds.
» The-Muffin-Man on 2007-08-22 12:23:28

At least they didn't pee on your bed. The stench of cat pee's a bitch to get rid of.
» ranor on 2007-08-22 01:25:37

P.S. R:C

» ranor on 2007-08-22 01:33:20

R:C
Ah, so instead of experimenting with the self-love, you decided to be all emo.

That just sounds repressed.
» ranor on 2007-08-22 12:34:13

Hrm... Training de cats eh? You just want them to stay out of certain places right? I'd try a mixture of baby gates and squirt bottles. This would be great particularily around your door. Put a baby gate in front of your door and then wait for them with your squirt bottle. When they touch the gate, squirt them. Power to you. Cats can be trained. Some people actually train their cats to go in and flush the toilet. However, since you want them out of the bathroom, that might be another cat for another day.
» jinyu on 2007-08-22 03:06:18

R:C
Go, go--acetylcholinergic agonists!

What have I been saying this entire time?
» ranor on 2007-08-22 11:06:32

Crazy Crazy Cats!
Good luck with that....
» lyndeep on 2007-08-23 08:55:55

Are there pictures of these cats?
» ikimashokie on 2007-08-26 09:29:36

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