So the Hawaiians rejected me. But they accepted my friend, which is actually pretty cool. Let's take a moment to mourn my Hawaiian life that could-have-been....

Let's see... I would have lived in Waikiki on the island of Oahu. I might have bought Crater Boy's surfboard off him (it's a long, foam board). When there were waves, I'd go surfing, who are you kidding. When there weren't any waves, I'd go snorkeling. One of the best snorkeling bays is right up the road. I'd hike up Diamondhead and catch lizards around the old WWII bunkers.

I'd revive my old long-board that I used to have in California (depending on the state of the sidewalks) and I'd skate from my house to the University. On weekends I'd take off around the island. Dole Pineapple Plantation, pineapple frozen yogurt, hedge maze. I'd take my surfboard up to Bonzai Pipeline to watch the pros.

When I got really bored, I'd fly to the big island to check out some sweet geology. Green sand beach, black sand beach, the southernmost point, ash deposits, sand dunes made of ash, a giant volcano with lava spilling out everywhere. Snowcapped volcanic peaks covered in some of the best telescopes in the world. Unbelievable views of the Milky Way Galaxy. Trips to Kauai and Maui, to hike waterfall trails and lounge on tropical beaches.

When I wasn't surfing, which would be almost never, I'd pop on down to the marine biology lab where they study coral, dolphins, and sharks. I'd meet a replacement shark-boy, only he'd be studying dolphin language, and I'd help him finally crack the dolphin-language code so that we could speak to our brother dolphins. It would be kind of awkward because he would see Shark-boy at all of the year's most important conferences during which Replacement Shark-boy would be receiving all kinds of accolades for his amazing work. More awkward still, I'd be in all of the photos of the dolphins in the presentation, since obviously the dolphins would feel most comfortable talking to me.

And when I was working? Ah yes, that would be one of the best parts. I would work on WHATEVER I WANTED. I'd work with all of the Mercury people on Mercury stuff, I'd work with the legions of Hawaiian volcanologists on volcano stuff, I'd work on wind and sand dune stuff complete with measuring dunes made of volcanic ash in the FIELD, and I'd work on my favorite Mars formation whenever I wanted, no longer under cover of darkness. And I'd get paid nearly THREE TIMES AS MUCH AS I AM PAID NOW.

Yeah, ok, the gasoline and food would cost more. Yeah, ok, I heard that they occasionally have cockroaches. Yeah, ok, it's an island and everything else is really far away from it.

BUT. BUT. BUT.

We have to think of the dolphins here.

Let's consider the dolphins. Please change your mind, Hawaii.

To be honest I think the ants are more of a problem than the cockroaches.
» randomjunk on 2013-04-02 07:31:06

pw - happy
» Midnight on 2013-04-03 01:21:17

I had told him about my blog awhile back, but he was never really interested until recently. I guess it doesn't matter to me if he can read it, because I'm very open with him anyway about pretty much everything, and I don't post things I wouldn't want him to read on my blog publicly.

I've made a few attempts to contact her, but they've been more or less unsuccessful. She doesn't go on Facebook anymore from what I can tell, and I tried texting her but got no response.
» randomjunk on 2013-04-04 03:37:21

Come on Hawaii! There was your chance to converse with dolphins!
Hawaii never knows how to keep its priorities straight. FOR SCIENCE, HAWAII.
» Unicornasaurus on 2013-04-04 05:36:46

Hawaii sounds awesome even when just thinking about what you would have done.
re: I'm a security officer in a clinical setting, but two people have been on vacation this past week so there was a lot of overtime to pick up.
» LostSoul13 on 2013-04-05 01:17:12

Sorry, you do not have permission to comment.

If you are a member, try logging in again or accessing this page here.